Rescue From The Darkest Night
by CullenLove
Summary: It’s a harsh climate— the climate of emotion. It’s dark and full of despair. But it can also be filled with light. For Jasper Whitlock, it’s the former... but can Alice put an end to this and save him from the life he never wanted? JPOV AxJ Pre-Twilight
1. Prologue

Rescue From The Darkest Night

**Rescue From The Darkest Night**

**Summary: **It's a harsh climate— the climate of emotion. It's dark and full of despair. But it can also be filled with light. For Jasper Whitlock, it's the former... but can Alice put an end to this and save him from the life he never wanted?

_This story is Jasper and Alice's story, set before the events of Twilight. Will include other Twilight characters. Inspiration came from the song, 'My Immortal' by Evanescence, and by the chapter in Eclipse when Bella learns Jasper's story. This fan fiction is based around that story, written in Jasper's point of view, (apart from the prologue, which is in Alice's), and gaps will be filled by me using a bit of artistic license! That means what Stephenie Meyer didn't mention, I will invent. Don't worry though, it wont be ludicrous. Hopefully. Haha. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. _

_**Prologue:**_

_**APOV: **_

_In a tiny spot free diner,_

_Where the floor was black and white,_

_Small tiles up the walls, _

_And a table to the right. _

_A handy pump for beer and gin,_

_A bar stool in the way,_

_Curtained windows block the sun,_

_And a cashier to pay. _

_A wooden door, a faded plinth_

_Where a trophy lay on a cloth,_

_A creaky hatch, a loaded tray,_

_And right by the light: a moth. _

_A dainty girl was waiting there,_

_You might have guessed: that's me,_

_I swung my legs and twisted my frock,_

_Waiting for my husband-to-be. _

_He came in through the back-door,_

_Hair tousled from the run,_

_I took one look and knew it was love_

_At first sight, (excuse the pun). _

I'd seen him coming in a vision. I knew his name. I knew what he looked like— yet when he finally came through the door, he took my breath away. He was everything new and everything that has been. He was past, and present, and he was my future.

_**Please tell me your thoughts. It is only the prologue that will be in Alice's POV. The rest in Jasper's. The next chapter will start off from when he was still hangin' around Maria :P I will post it soon, --cheekily adds--... All the quicker if you guys tell me you like it... And if you don't, then I'd like to know too!**_

_**CullenLove**_


	2. Jasper's Reward

Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. **

**Ps. All poems and mini-poems at the beginning of chapters are written by me, unless another author is mentioned (which will be unlikely). **

_**It feels like you wont recover, or ever, ever forget,**_

_**Because time can't heal all wounds,**_

_**Or put out the fiery past—**_

_**And douse the flame that sears and smarts,**_

_**Because pain was built to last. **_

**JPOV:**

Even before I reached the house, I could feel the smugness of my leader at our recent victory in the climate of her emotion. At once I knew she was sitting at her chair in the attic, looking out through the window over the lands we had captured. I heard her giggles of joy reach my ears and couldn't help the smile that appeared in return on my face.

And then, not even as strong as Maria, were the feelings of the newborns— and they ranged from angered, to thirsty, to lustful. They were in the basement of the large house we had stolen as our lodging in the newly captured city, lying around doing very little. I could tell they felt frustrated by this, and they were eager once more for blood after the violent battle of a couple of days ago. They would have to feed soon. I resolved to make Maria aware of this fact.

As I reached the porch of the almost run-down mansion, I looked down again at the mangled marble body I was carrying, and remembered how it had got there...

_I had found the place Maria had mentioned— and was now dropping quickly down the manhole into the sewers in pursuit of her goal, which happened to be an aging male vampire, who was the leader of the coven that had owned the city as their territory. Maria had wanted it for herself, and so I had been chosen by her to eliminate the leader of our enemy coven so we could take the city. Our conquest was almost over, and I had the leader in my sights. I dreamt of the reward I would get when I returned home as I shot off in chase of the male vampire, who had smelt me and was running. _

_He wasn't as fast as me, because by the time we had reached where the sewers broke off into two passages, I almost had him. His half seconds pause as he decided which fork to follow further aided my cause. By the time he had chosen, I was upon him— my teeth at his neck, my arms locked around him— and before another second was gone, so was he. _

I shifted the pieces of marble in my arms as I prepared to present this torn apart vampire to my leader. She knew I was here now, I could feel her excitement. This in turn, affected me, and a wide grin shot across my face. I held his head under my arm as I opened the door, gathering the pieces of the rest of him under my other arm.

She never answered the door, but I knew where to find her. She was waiting for me up the stairs. I could feel a twitch under my arm as the head convulsed slightly. I looked down to see the eyes rolling— it had been doing that for a while now. We would need to burn it soon.

The newborns in the cellar now also knew I was here, but as usual from our coven, I received no greeting from them. I hadn't expected one. I was their superior, I thought with joy to myself. And it was Maria who had made it so. I felt another wave of gratitude to her wash through me as I bounded up the stairs.

"Ahh, Jasper Whitlock," Maria purred as I entered the room, "What have you brought me this time?"

I regarded her moon-white skin and wide, blood red eyes as I bent to the floor in front of her petite form. Her dark hair was blowing in the wind, even more lovely today than it had ever been before.

"I brought you what you requested, lady," I murmured, holding before her the body she had wanted so much to see.

Her cry of happiness and satisfaction affected me too; I couldn't help but feel the same feeling coursing through my body. I held my arms higher, willing as ever for her praise.

"My dear Jasper," Maria sang, "Stand before me."

I rose to my feet, and locked my eyes with hers. They were shining.

"In what grace, to what absolute perfection have you carried out my task! Jasper, I am proud to call you my commander. You have proved beyond anything how competent you are. Just finish the job and then we shall celebrate!"

She clapped her small hands as she gestured towards the body I had set on the ground. I still held the head. I pulled a box of matches from my pocket and struck a flame. I reached down to touch it to the marble pieces on the wood floor, but Maria stopped me.

"But Jasper, that would destroy our floor. You must do it in your arms."

I looked into her eyes again, and without protest, I lay the match against the head in my arms. It immediately caught fire, and a pungent cloud of deep purple smoke began to rise. I held it at arms length and tried to ignore the sharp sting of the flames where they touched my skin. Maria didn't want her floor destroyed by the fire, so I had to do it in my arms. Who would I be to complain when she had shown me so much kindness?

After the destruction of the head, I did the body piece by piece. And when it was completed, I looked back to Maria. To my joy she was smiling again. To see that smile I would do anything.

And then the smile faded.

"Oh, Jasper, you are hurt!"

I began to shake my head, but she jumped down from her chair and came to stand in front of me. With a long, pale finger she traced the new scar that had appeared on my neck. I felt a shiver of shock run down my spine— Maria had never touched me before. It didn't know how to react to the feeling. I had never been touched by a woman before.

"No, Maria, that was from the last fight," I told her, "I did not gain any more today." My voice was strange, laced with shock.

"But you must bathe, Jasper, I have heard that makes it better. Does it still sting?"

Her finger paused on its path, where it had traced the line of the scar down to my collarbone. Her touch was feather-light. My body felt suddenly weary under her touch, like my energy had been sapped. I knew that was impossible.

"A very little, ma'am," I told her, though it was a lie. This scar had cut deeper than the last, and I could still feel burn of the venom of the vampire I had killed after he had placed it on me.

"Then you must bathe! I have something—" she turned to her desk, dropping her finger from my skin, "—here. You must take this." She passed me a small bottle made of dark brown glass. It was filled with liquid.

"What is this, lady?" I turned the bottle over in my hands, my touch light. Careful not to break this, Maria's possession.

"I have heard it helps," she just repeated. "Take a bath, Jasper, and come to me again when you have finished."

I bowed my head and backed out of the room. I would head to the river, and do as she asked. Her voice stopped me at the door.

"Where are you going, Jasper Whitlock?"

"To the river," I replied, in confusion.

Her emotions began a tumult of laughter.

"You will use my bath, commander."

Too proud to have been called such a thing, I did as she asked without complaint.

Her bath was in the adjoining room, and I closed the door lightly on her. I could still hear the bell tinkle of her laughter from the other room. The trappings of the room were decidedly feminine. The walls were panelled in rich dark wood, but I couldn't recognise the smell from ones I had smelt before, so I couldn't name it. Maybe Maria had imported it from across the sea.

The bath was the main feature of the room, aside from the large glass window, which was rare because of its expense. The bath was made of copper— I recognised the smell. It was polished until it gleamed. To my confusion I realized it had already been filled with water. I touched the tip of my finger to the surface of the water and found it was hot. The surface didn't stir, no rings reached out from where my finger had touched. It was like a mirror, reflecting my face back at me.

So, Maria had run me a bath? Normally she left me to bathe with the other newborns, in the river. Was this a reward for our triumph in gaining the city as ours?

I pulled the ripped cloth from my skin, and my shirt disintegrated in my fingers. I hadn't gotten a new one for a week or so. I realized now that I needed one. My pants were in much the same condition, though they didn't break when I tried to take them off. I had taken to not wearing shoes, but Maria had shown displeasure when she had seen me without them, and told me to find some. I had taken these ones from the body of a newborn that had to be destroyed, and they were worn and old. Only my overcoat was in good condition. It had been a reward from Maria on one of our raids a year ago.

The water stirred a little as I lowered my body into the bath. It felt good to be free of clothes. They were often restricting, though I would never mention that to anybody. The steamed, boiling water felt good against my skin, much like what I imagined the caress of a lady might feel like. My thoughts returned to Maria and how she had touched me. And then I remembered the small glass bottle she had given me, and reached my hand out of the bath to retrieve it.

When I lifted the cork, I knew immediately what it was. The smell was unmistakeable. The scarlet liquid swirled in the bottle and my throat erupted in flames. _Ahhh, blood. _

I realized I needed to feed. It took a lot of effort to pour the liquid into the bath, rather than drink it. And then the smell of the blood was diluted in the water, less concentrated, but it was all around me, lapping against my skin... I closed my eyes and leant back against the bath, my throat in agony. A small moan fell from my lips as my forehead creased. I could certainly not drink it now, mixed with water as it was... yet my throat was parched and dry, and only human blood would satisfy...

Maria's emotions became even more amused. She had heard my moan.

I heard her footsteps, and then shot up from the water in shock as I heard her hand on the doorknob. In a sitting position in the bath, I froze as she came into the room.

"Are you thirsty?" she giggled.

I didn't reply. I couldn't open my mouth, for I had smelled something even sweeter than the diluted blood in the bath... Maria was holding a human, its arms and legs bound by rope, its mouth stuffed with cloth... and its eyes were screaming and rolling in fear. It's cloud of emotion and panic spread across the room like thunder clouds across a summer sky. I was immediately tense, ready at once to spring from the bath and sink my teeth into that warm, sweet flesh... to taste that blood, so much sweeter now in my parched state than anything I'd smelt before...

"She is your reward, Jasper Whitlock, do with her as you wish," Maria hummed. Her voice was throaty with some strange mix of contentment, sensuality and pleasure at the way I was reacting to her gift. Yet all I could think of was how that blood was put out the fire, would run down my throat, more sweet than sugar, more fulfilling than anything else...

Maria came to stand beside me, and held the bound girl out for me. I reached for her eagerly, not caring about what had shocked me in the first place— that Maria was in here, and I was _naked._..

As I took the girl from her, I saw Maria look down into the bathtub pointedly and smile widely so her teeth flashed. If I had been human, and in a state to care, I would have been blushing, and covering myself. Yet I was taking the human into my arms, reaching for her long, blonde hair to sweep it back over her neck so that I could see her endearing white throat...

And though every fibre of my body was enthused with her panic, her horror— and I could feel just as she could the emotion of terror— I sank my greedy teeth into her waiting neck and drank.

Oh, how fast the pain recedes! How quickly the emotions of the prey are replaced by satisfaction and pleasure! And as I drank her sweet blood, I couldn't help the moans that slipped from my lips. Yes, surely, this was better than anything else.

And as her screams faded away, and her heart slowed, I felt another touch. On my shoulders this time, with gentle massaging pressure, yet not gentle enough to be human. And from behind me I heard the croons of a soft, female, _vampire _voice. My body went still. But I couldn't stop drinking, not until the last drop was gone... and the taste of this blood, coupled with the soft touch of skin on mine, no matter who's it was, was enough to relax me further.

And when the human was dry, my appetite sated, I let her drop to the floor. I leant back against the tub, feeling warm and contented. The fingers behind me moved to my hair, rubbing through the golden blonde waves, and though the touch was alien to me, I couldn't bring myself to make her stop.

**JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA JxA**

**I know some of you maaay be getting a little worried from this chapter, but it will not be a MariaxJasper story. I promise it will be AlicexJasper. But you all gotta know he did say that he 'worshipped the ground she walked on' in Eclipse. Soo... I'm just illustrating that. **

**Please review, and tell me what you think...? (And what did you think of my little mini-poem at the start of this chapter? I'm always more worried about the reception of my poetry over my writing... I just feel like poetry is harder, and more easily disliked). **

**CullenLove xx**


	3. Jasper's Mission

JPOV:

I'm doing two stories at the moment, this and Boss From Hell!, and now I've finished this chapter I'll get to writing Boss From Hell! again. I've already done like half the chapter of that one. It'll be out soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

(This is a pretty action-filled chapter, if you ask me, lol).

Note: Please read the stories written by Beatless-Heart, she is a great person. I will tell you more about her and her new story in my Boss From Hell! chapter. This chapter is dedicated to her in thanks for her banner made especially for this story!

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**JPOV:**

I only realized later, down in the basement watching over the newborns, (Peter had gone to hunt, and as this was his usual job, I had been chosen to fill in), that anybody felt any animosity towards me on account of my special treatment with Maria earlier. I had not known they were even aware of it. But I was sure when I saw the sideways glances and the shifty looks, when coupled with the hostile climate around me, that this was indeed their feeling towards me.

I leant back against the cold stone of the window seat and planted my feet against the wall in front of me. I had always liked sitting in this little nook in the wall— I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the feeling of having my back covered. I wasn't exposed in this position.

I closed my eyes and yet I wasn't tired in the slightest, but somehow weary of the sight of the thirteen newborns in the room with me. I knew the life expectancy for them was little over a month, and if they survived their first year— through skill or strength or intelligence, or even if they had a gift like mine— then maybe they would live a little longer. Their chances grew if they survived the year mark. It usually meant they could defend themselves aptly. Or that Maria had taken a liking to them.

If unfortunately she hadn't, then she asked me to destroy them. I did so without question, because she was my master, and she had saved me. Yet I never did shake the feeling that maybe it was a waste.

I suppressed this irrational feeling at once. I always felt like this after feeding. Deflated somewhat, rather than satisfied. But that was only after I had calmed from the frenzy I always felt when faced with a human to drink from. And especially the sweet gifts Maria kept for me— the most delicious blood came from young women and girls, and she always saved them for me. I felt unusually gratified by her reward this time. It had been so much greater than all the other times.

The newborns seemed to sense this too. Though they did not know what she had given me this time, they knew that for me to be this contented after killing it meant it had been good. They were jealous. Maria was the only female in the coven, because after Lucy and Nettie had turned against us and we had defeated them, she had been the only one left. She didn't 'create' women. They were too weak for her conquests. And some of the newborns desired her— I could tell it. They were envious of the favour to which Maria showed me. They could sense her growing attachment to me and they resented me for it.

I found this strange. I had always been well liked— it could have been on account of my manners, or perhaps it was that certain charisma that lingered around me like a weightless cloud. It was even more potent now I was a vampire. So it surprised me to be the focus of such negative attention.

When it carried on late into the hours of the night, and began to evolve into a little more than just hostile glances, I became annoyed. The hatred in the room was distracting. How could I think when their emotions affected me so? And when one of the disruptive newborns who had edged closer and closer to me through the hours looked at me with one more angry stare, I snapped.

A fierce, bass growl ripped from my throat as I leaned towards him— hissing. My lip curled around my flashing teeth in another snarl as I stared him unwaveringly in the eyes, a challenge on my lips.

He shrank back like a wounded puppy but didn't answer. The others turned away, and dropped their gazes. And now that I had reasserted my dominance over them, they didn't bother me again.

The cold silence of the room was broken when in the distance the sprinting footsteps of another vampire came into earshot. And a few seconds after hearing, we all smelt him— but it was just Peter returning home from his hunt. He reported straight to Maria, but was down in the basement again within a minute. He greeted me with a smile. There was no trace of his feed on him: not a spot marked his clothes, not a droplet had been left on his chin or mouth. The newborns were never quite so civilised.

When the newborns also looked at him with envy, I realized I had failed to tell Maria they were thirsty, too. In the confusing midst of my reward, I had forgotten. This had never happened before.

When I left the room, Peter took my place.

"Jasper, I was just about to call on you," Maria said as I entered the room. A smile lit her face as I felt the soft glow of cheerfulness about her. She was pleased.

"What did you require, ma'am?" I asked, coming forward to kneel at her feet. She took my hand when I rose again.

"No, lets hear yours first!" she giggled.

I lowered my face. Her emotions were now laced with interest. I felt a warm glow inside that she would pay such attention to me. She would be disappointed at how ordinary my news was. "I came to tell you that the newborns are thirsty, lady."

"Oh, are they?" she said, raising a sharp eyebrow. She became displeased almost at once. "And what made you think that _they _deserved to feed?"

I was just about to speak when she opened her mouth again, and I fell silent.

"I reserve that luxury only for those who please me," she said, her fingers curling around my hand that was in held in her small one. Her touch was firm. She stroked her finger over the back of my hand, and like before, it felt strange. My hand looked massive in her tiny one. Too big. As if it didn't belong there. Her actions surprised me greatly.

I tried to pull my hand back from hers but she didn't allow me. Her nails began to dig into my hand, and though it didn't hurt because I couldn't feel pain, it was uncomfortable.

"Why did you want me, ma'am?" I asked her, staring at our hands. If I had been surprised before, when she touched my scar, I was even more so now. She was holding _my _hand in _hers. _

Her voice became low and sultry. Her emotions now were sluggish with desire for something, (I didn't know what); though at the same time they were sharp and warning. She was cautioning me.

"I requested your presence," she began, lifting up my chin with a long finger so that I was forced to look into her eyes. They were dark and swirling, capturing. "Because I wanted to show you how... delighted... I am...", —her other hand took _my _other and held it close to her still heart—, "That you belong to _me_."

My voice was almost a whisper. "As opposed to...?"

She dropped my hands as if they were burning coals. Dark clouds of anger drew around her, and her voice was as cold as ice and burst from her, "As opposed to in the company of my enemies!"

I could hear what she wasn't willing to say— _I will make sure you are destroyed if you ever leave me. I will search for you till the end of the world, and when I find you I will tear out your heart. _

And then as if a strong wind had picked up and blown away all her rage, it abated. She became filled with a worry so strong that it made my heart ache, too.

Her voice was as fragile as a child's. "You wont... ever l-leave me, will you, Jasper?" Her eyes shone with tears she couldn't shed. "You know how much I count on you..."

"I would _never _leave you," I swore. I couldn't even imagine doing it— what would there be, out in that world, for me? Where would I be without Maria? How would I find my way?

"Oh, Jasper..." she wailed, looking more distraught than I could bear. Her small frame shook with sobs.

I didn't know what to do, how to react. My human instincts would have told me to comfort the lady, but how would she react to that? When her sadness only got worse, and she had pulled me under with it too, I took her in my arms. Her tiny head rested against my chest, her dark hair messy across my stomach. She had almost no substance— I could feel her tiny frame against mine. She looked dwarfed next to my muscled alabaster. She felt like a child in my arms.

Her arms snaked around my back and dug into my shirt. I could feel her nails ripping through the fabric as she shook with tearless wails. Her words were muffled and came out as nonsensical cries, yet I could feel the vibration of her lips against my chest. She clung even tighter. My arms felt heavy against her back, and my throat felt filled with stone. Her sadness permeated every cell of me.

We stood like this for many minutes, and nothing changed. I told her again and again that I wouldn't leave her, that I would not be able to bear to leave her here, all alone, with the newborns... yet it made no difference. She fell into a depression so deep I was drowned with her.

When finally, as dawn was breaking, her hold began to loosen, she mumbled to me... "I thank god every day for you, Jasper Whitlock."

I felt too numbed by grief at this point that I couldn't manage gratitude.

She let me go, and my arms slid to my sides.

At once her voice was hard. "I have a task for you Jasper. You must travel north of here and scout Houston. I want to take it as my own. You must map the territory for me, so we can find the best point to attack. You will do that for me, won't you, Jasper?"

At first I thought I had misheard her. She could not have meant those words. Yet, when I asked her, she repeated them the same, a slow smile stretching across her face.

"You want me to go alone?" I asked in a low voice. I wasn't scared, no, that was not it. Disbelieving? I knew already that what she was proposing was murder. That was travelling into another vampire's territory, without any backup. I would be killed at once.

Her eyes were bright with excitement already. The fog of grief in my mind began to lift, and when it did, I began to wonder— had that guilt attack on my conscience just then been so that I would not refuse her this favour? For if it had, she had not needed to. I could not refuse her anything. I would do anything— wasn't she aware of that?

She could not have meant for me to go alone, yes, surely she had just not yet mentioned the army that I would take. Would she be so foolish as to send her best commander on a suicide mission? Had she... gone mad? Had I misinterpreted her rewards and favour towards me in the recent weeks?

Her lips stretched wide in a smile. "Yes." Her lips curled back over her teeth. "I want you to go alone."

**JPOV:**

I bowed my head, burying the feelings of confusion. Had I not heard her perfectly clearly? What had I to be confused about?

I prepared myself mentally for what I knew to be suicide. I would not return from this mission. Yet I was willing to go nevertheless.

"Prepare yourself, Jasper Whitlock. You will leave at dusk."

"Yes, ma'am," I answered her, my voice even this time. I had always been a good master of feelings. I had contained mine now.

"Oh, and Jasper?" she crooned, her voice now at my neck, as she had sped across the room at breakneck speed.

I turned to face her, "Yes?"

"I want you to destroy my newborns, before you leave."

Destroy them? All?

"Will you do that for me?" she purred. I could feel her breath against the front of my neck.

I bowed my head. "Whatever you ask, my lady."

I expected her to go back to her chair, but she spoke again after a moment. She was laughing now. "Is that so?" There was a pause. She leant closer, until there was little but an inch between us. She opened her mouth, her breath blowing across my lips, "Then I want a kiss."

I was frozen again, my eyes wide with disbelief. Not once in the decades I had been with her had she ever made a request like this. After the loss of Nettie and Lucy, was she becoming lonely? Where had she found this new attachment to me?

_Firstly, those brief touches of her hand on my neck. Then the caresses in the bath... and now she wanted me to give her a kiss?_

I was still, not even my chest moved. I stopped breathing, trying to think, to find some idea of what to do... but nothing came to me, and she was becoming impatient...

"You said you would do anything I asked," she murmured, looking up from under her lashes. Her lower lip pouted gently against the top one.

I shook my head once, slowly...

Her pout turned into a frown, her eyebrows drew together with rage, and a low growl built in her throat.

Before her emotions could get too dangerously out of control, as I knew they could, I took her face in my hands and pressed my lips once, gently, to hers. I began to draw back, but her hands shot up to hold mine in place with firm pressure. I could easily break her hold, with one flick of my wrists, but what would be the consequences for me if I did? And how could I do that to Maria, who had looked after me for so long with kindness? How could it be so wrong to return her favour with one kiss?

"I asked for a kiss, Jasper," she snarled, furious now, "_Not _just a touch of your lips."

I looked into her eyes, so close to my own. I looked into them, saw all her dreams, her expectations, her hopes, all which she had shared with me... and couldn't refuse her.

She tangled her hands in my hair to give me a bit of encouragement, and forced our lips to touch. It was not a kiss, not like I had heard one would be like— it was a battle for her to show her power over me. An when our tongues touched, mine would not be gentle, because I had not wanted this, I had not started it... and hers forced back at mine with all her rage. How could it be contained in one such small body?

And then she yanked my head back by the hair, and both of us were shaking with anger, panting with exertion... her spindly yet strong fingers pulled my head back so I was staring at the ceiling. I did not like this position— it was an instinct not to bare your throat to a hostile vampire. Yet I did not pull back because I was too angry. Her fiery rage had affected me too, and now I took it as if it was my own. I had never been so furious in all my existence.

So when I felt her damp lips on my neck, still panting, and she said— "Come back to me, Jasper, and then you shall have your reward,"— I did not reply, but yanked myself out of her grasp and swept from the room.

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**I am expecting you guys to have a lot of opinions about this chapter, LOL!**

**What did you think? **

**Alice will appear in a couple of chapters, but you have to understand Jasper's history before you can understand his relationship with Alice and his emotional status when they meet. **

**Don't worry, there wont be much more like this with Maria (unless you want it!). That was kind of the knife-edge for Jasper— the point he begins to doubt his life with Maria and begins to wonder if she really is so great. **

**I know none of this was mentioned in the book, but Stephenie gave no idea as to some off the stuff he went through, so I am writing it. And I have a pretty good idea of where it's going, so its not just some weird slash-smut. **

Please review...? (Thanks for all the ones I got, I truly appreciate it guys. But I didn't get many... – does pouty Alice face--)

CullenLove


	4. Jasper, Don't Loose Hope

XXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOO

Author's Note:

I'm sorry this chapter took so long, it was due to other obligations. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

XXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOO

_**You're in it for the long haul,**_

_**Grief will put you to the test.  
And when in the night time, sadness rules**_

_**You won't sleep for regrets.**_

**JPOV:**

It was evening, and the soft light broke through the slats in the windows to cast shadows across the room. I could see every individual dust mote wind its way across the patches of light and to the ground. I had been watching for hours.

Kill the newborns, she had told me. I should have done it before, but I was putting it off... for reasons I didn't understand. Why kill the newborns? What would it achieve? My chest ached with some emotion I couldn't recognise. All I could think was..... such a _waste. _

They had once been humans, once meant everything to someone— they had a mother, or were someone's husband— they had dreams and emotions and aspirations. And I was aware of it all, I could feel their pain and hope and anger and lust and dreaming and excitement. I could _feel. _

"Jasper!" Maria called from upstairs. A reminder. She still had not heard the ripping, tearing, burning sounds that would signal that I was fulfilling her orders. Impatience hung around her figure like a shawl.

I sighed, uncurling myself from the window seat. I looked across at Peter— his dominant emotion was confusion, and I took the emotion and gently pulled it away from him like a ribbon, infusing him with a cloud of serenity. He sank back against the wall and closed his eyes. The newborns, however, still regarded me with wary glances. I assumed they were bitterly remembering my assertion of dominance earlier. They wouldn't forget it for a long time, I thought.

And then I paused. They didn't have a _long time_— when I did what Maria desired, they would have only seconds. I pushed this thought into the back of my mind, and called the name of the vampire closest to me. He was a large one, meaty like an Italian sausage. His tufts of black hair extended not only on his head but also on his upper lip, and in a thick channel down his chest. Few of the newborns wore proper clothing. No, that right was reserved for those who gained clothes as gifts from Maria. She particularly hated this newborn— his clothes hadn't been replaced for what looked like years, and his red eyes were almost black with thirst. He hadn't been rewarded in a long, long time. Maria would be pleased to be rid of him.

"Cleaver, I would like a word," I ordered, jerking my finger back towards the door of the house.

His hairy upper lip curled, but he followed me. He did not dare challenge me— the scars that adorned my body like trophies showcased just how many vampires had died trying to kill me. At least, he had sense in that respect.

I led him about a mile away from the house, just a few seconds run for us. The scrubby countryside was about as crisp and infertile as an old woman, and few bushes adorned the ground. The others would hear as we weren't that far away, but I didn't intend to make any noise.

I pulled sharply out of my running stance as we reached a patch of land that looked just like every other patch for miles around. Cleaver skidded to a stop, feeling unsure.

"What is it, Whitlock?" he asked sharply, his moustache twitching with distaste. "What have you brought me out here for?" I could tell he hated but feared me, it was rolling off him in waves.

I did not answer, but locked my eyes on his. I knew the newborns feared my eyes, for they were shockingly brilliant crimson. I had recently fed, and that gave me strength. I slipped slowly into a hunting crouch, my eyes still locked on the vampire before me. Immediately, almost instinctively, my eyes flashed across his body— deciding where his weak points were, where to strike, how best to kill...

And yet Cleaver was not an idiot. He knew this stance, recognised the calculating look in my eye... for he had seen it on the battlefield, watched me tear and rip apart until I was alone on the field.

"Whitlock," he growled out warningly. He didn't not try to stop my attack, or beg. That was not his style. His eyes flashed with defiance as he stood wide and braced himself for defence.

If I had my way, he would have no time to defend.

_Two hours later._

I was down to the last newborn. I really needed a new spot to kill them off, for as soon as they followed me to a stop, they noticed the pyre of smoke and got angsty. Some of them had even got in a few strikes before I'd ripped them apart; I even had a new scar.

This last one would be easy, though. She was female— one of the few Maria had created— and weak. Peter had watched me blankly as I led newborn after newborn away from the house and returned alone. He had to recognise the signs, to wonder if he was next... yet, when I called the name of this one, in a slightly bored tone, I saw him stiffen out of the corner of my eye. His emotions betrayed him. Anger was all I felt, pulsing in waves from his body and saturating the room, even though he knew my power and was trying fiercely to hide it.

"Charlotte," I called, spouting some rubbish about Maria deciding to let her go free, "Come with me."

There. Again! This time, it was clenched fists.

Peter had some connection to this one!

I decided to make sure, and grabbing the hand of this female vampire, I began to lead her towards the door. As I passed Peter, he straightened from his sitting position to block my path to the door, his lips pulled back over his teeth in a snarl.

"Move." It was an order, not a request.

He leaned towards me and growled harshly in my face. He was usually so civilised, it was a shock. I dropped the female's hand, and Peter lowered into a crouch.

"Charlotte, run!" He yelled urgently to her, preparing to offer himself up to be torn apart by me. The sweet little thing hesitated, looking terrified. Her hand froze on the doorknob. I fell into a crouch, snarls instinctively ripping their way up my throat— Maria had told me to get them all! I couldn't let even one get away!

"Charlotte, he's lethal! GO!" Peter roared, still blocking me from her and the door. The little female finally took his advice, and tore the door off its hinges trying to get away.

At once I dove forward, hands reaching for Peter's throat. He slipped from my grasp like a worm, twisted away from me... but I jumped from his grabbing hands, turned in the air, and landed behind him. He growled in frustration. I noticed a weak spot as I lunged for him again— he wasn't protecting his back. Whenever he span to get away from me, he left his back unprotected to vampire snatches and blows...

"I can't let you have her, Whitlock!" he roared, diving backwards from my teeth, just a hair's breath away. "I love her!"

"And I can't disobey Maria's orders," I snarled, wondering what had happened to the companionship that had grown between Peter and I. I had no idea he was infatuated with Charlotte— the quiet, simple female who never spoke or looked anyone in the eye. Would our friendship be lost over this?

"I'll kill you before I let you hurt her!" he shouted, feebly lashing out. I dodged his blow easily, cuffing him viciously over the head. The blow sent him flying through the wall, smashing apart furniture, and left him in the next room. I sped to his side at vampire speed, and snarled as I slammed him into the ground and avoided his flailing limbs by planting a knee each side of his struggling torso and taking a hold of his upper arms, ready to rip them off.

His eyes were fearful now, not ready for death. He felt angry, like a failure... I could almost imagine his thoughts, it was so apparent on his face— _I've failed. He'll get her now; she can't run fast enough. _

He had one last stab at freedom. He knew me too well.

"It doesn't have to be like this, Jasper!" he shouted, yet his voice wasn't hard, but soft, crooning... persuasive. "You don't have to fight, to kill every day to stay alive! You can live differently!" And he assaulted me with emotions so strong they almost knocked me off my feet— hopeful glances shared with Charlotte, his passion as he first touched her, the joy of hidden kisses, shared secrets, and blinding, dazzling love that stung in every cell of me. I groaned, clutching at my heart like a dying man in torture.

"See, Jasper! This is real! You can feel like this!"

And he attacked me again with a second wave, just as strong as the first: earth shattering love... and devotion so strong he would die for her.

"You can come with us," Peter urged, "Run from all of this. Escape!"

I rolled off him, my eyes fixed on his. "Go," I choked out. I planted my forehead against the floor and tried to fight the sensations running through me, for I knew they could never be mine. He was torturing me with unattainable dreams, false hope!

I felt his hand on my shoulder before he left— once simple touch, and a whisper that faded away with his running footsteps:

"_Don't loose hope."_

XXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOO

Author's Note:

This chapter was completely and wholly due to several reviews which gave this story renewed energy.

They got me off my ass and typing.

All hail:

..0.

and everyone else who reviewed, it was greatly appreciated!

Please? Could you do it again? ;)

CullenLove


	5. Jasper's Remorse

Thank you to everyone who reviewed for such lovely comments and enthusiasm.

This chapter is dedicated to ..0. (Hope this works) who I tried to dedicate the last one to.

Warning: some stuff in this chapter may be traumatic to some people. Read at your own risk and please don't have nightmares.

_X x x x x x x x x x X_

It was a long time before I could lift myself from the floor, and when I did, I felt drained and empty. Peter's emotional battering ram had left me aching inside my chest. My head felt heavy, like lead. And yet my thoughts flew like sprites, assessing and reassessing Peter's emotions. How could they be real? How did he learn to make me feel that, if it wasn't real? How could you possibly love another person so much you would give up your whole life to save them? It made no sense to me, and I had been around for hundreds of years. Surely, if an emotion like that existed, I would have felt it before.

Peter must have tricked me, I thought, and yet I was glad I'd let him go. It gave me some sort of strange fluttery feeling in my throat and stomach whenever I remembered Peter's emotions towards Charlotte. Sort of like a sickness, but in a pleasant way.

It was Maria that made me finally get up; she was calling impatiently for me. I pushed my erratic thoughts away as I ascended the stairs.

"Did you get them all, Jasper?" Maria trilled, a smug light in her eye. She knew I hadn't, and she also knew the discomfort to my pride that saying I had missed two would cause.

Instead of complaining, I humoured her, "No."

"Why not, sweetness?"

I stiffened slightly at the emasculation she so obviously intended.

"Two of them joined up and got past me, it was an error of judgement, a miscalculation," I answered shortly. I did not want to go into any more detail, lest she find out that I had let them go willingly.

"Now if you can't handle two newborn vampires, Jasper, maybe you are not the right man for my little mission," Maria giggled.

My eyes narrowed. "Of course I can handle two newborns, Maria," I snapped. However much I adored Maria, I just could not stand jibes against my fighting skills. "Surely you know me better."

"Then I can't understand how you let these two go," Maria replied in the same tone. "It is very disappointing, Jasper. You know I count on you." Then she paused, and her eyes fell modestly to pick at the threads of her long skirts. She looked up at me through her lashes, her eyes sad, "Who would protect ladies like me if it were not you?"

Yes, that's right, I thought bitterly; play up on my proper southern upbringing. "Of course I can protect you Maria," I urged, feeling shame that she had to even ask me.

"Lovely," she replied smugly, her mood changing as quickly as the thud of a human heartbeat. "Then you will go to Houston for me now, and scout the vampire's territory. Find me a weak spot, Commander."

"How will I protect you when I'm not near you?" I asked, beginning to worry about her safety against my will. Even though I was angry with her, she had been my companion for over a hundred years, and she was so small, so frail...

"Attack is the best form of defence, Jasper," Maria crooned, "You should know that."

An hour later, I was ready to go. I hadn't accumulated many possessions at all, even though I had spent too many years to count in this world. A few clothes and a pocket watch were all I had to my name. I didn't have any money, because I didn't need it. Anything I wanted, I took, for who was strong enough to stop me?

I had dressed in the grey long-coat Maria had given me as a reward for a past deed. She had stolen it from a high-ranking official in the army— it was a Major's coat. I almost prized it more than my own skin. I had pulled on my leather boots, pants and white shirt, and clipped on a badge I had earned in the Confederate Army during the Civil War that was the only thing I had from when I was a human. Maria called me one last time before I departed. I didn't expect to come back, so I had left nothing of mine in the house.

"Oh, Jasper, so handsome," Maria purred when I came into the room. "The grey of that coat makes your hair look edible."

My eyebrows rose at the strange word. I hadn't known that was an adjective for describing hair; I wondered where Maria had learnt it.

"I almost don't want to let you go," she murmured softly under her breath, probably forgetting that I could hear her. Her small hand stroked across my chest to pick at the badge I had pinned on my lapel.

"Don't you think that particular trinket is a bit old? Why don't I replace it with something of my own? Something a bit less... dated," Maria asked, picking at my Confederate badge.

A low growl rumbled in my chest. That badge meant a great deal to me— it symbolised myself as a human. It was the only thing I had left, the only thing I had earned as an equal with everyone else, for a vampire could take anything he wanted without effort. I had worked for that badge, sweated over it, bled over it...

"No," I growled, refusing point-blank to part with the badge.

"But I want a little representation," Maria argued, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout. "You will wear something of mine, even if you wont part with that old badge."

And she pulled off the ring she always wore around her neck on a little chain, and slipped it onto my finger. My fist clenched in protest. It was a simple silver band, very valuable, for silver was hard to come by... yet it was tarnished and scraped, the surface marked with deep rivets like scars.

"I haven't taken that off for two hundred years," Maria informed me, "It's scratched so much because its been in contact with vampires trying to rip my hands off," she giggled. Her fingers pried at my hand, tilting the ring towards the candle flame. Shadows lingered in the indents of the surface. "See, it's just like your skin," she murmured in amusement.

I took back my hand, but didn't remove the ring.

"What will you do while I'm gone?" I asked shortly, changing the subject.

"Why, create myself a new army! I feel like a change," Maria purred.

I wondered if that was why she was sending me on such a suicidal mission... because she wanted a change?

"You can go now, Jasper," she said suddenly; my change in conversation had obviously broken her out of her distraction. "Return to me with information in two weeks or I will presume you are dead and carry on without you."

_Charming._

The soft light of morning was settling over fields of hay and corn, its dusky sweetness gently illuminating everything in gold. I was hiding, (difficult when the land was nothing but flat fields for miles), crouched amongst the yellow stalks of corn in a farmer's field. I had left Maria hours ago, and had travelled far before the sun had risen. It was shining so brightly that if anyone caught me out they would know for sure I wasn't human. Hence the hiding.

This, however, left me with the prospect of hours milling over 'Peter's emotion', which I had now taken to calling it. It hadn't left my mind properly since he'd shown me it. I hated puzzles I couldn't decipher.

I found myself humming a war tune from my army days as the day wore on and the sun beat softly down on me. I had rolled up the sleeves of my coat so the sun could touch my granite skin, which gave me a deliciously warm feeling throughout my body. I felt in higher spirits than I had for a long, long time. This feeling left when the sun did.

As it descended below the horizon, my body cooled quickly without the sun's rays. I mourned the loss of its heat as I pulled myself to my feet. At least now in the dark I could make some progress, I told myself. Within ten minutes of the departure of the sun, I was my usual self again. I began to run, my feet flying over the ground, marking out a path in the destroyed corn. As I sped past the farmer's house and onto the road again, my throat erupted like a bonfire and the most delicious smell assailed my nose. I felt venom flowing fresh in my mouth, and simply ground to a halt. It was coming from behind me; from the farmer's house... my feet instinctively veered me towards the source of this delectable aroma, pounding over the ground. My whole body yearned for a taste, my muscles coiled like springs, my chest rising and falling with the intake of the intoxicating smell.

When I reached the small, timber, one-floored house, I climbed in through a shuttered window-hole in the wall, where the scent was strongest. My sharp eyes picked out the details of the room in a second, but ignored everything but the person lying on the bed, curled up, asleep. Her hair was spread across the pillow in a fan, her arms tucked under her small body. She looked about sixteen, the farmer's daughter. My eyes followed a line from her chestnut hair down to her bare feet, poked out from under the blanket, and came to a rest on her _throat. _I could almost feel the wet beat of her heart resounding in the air. Warmth pulsed out in waves from her body, wrapping around me, touching my skin. This was even better than the sunlight.

I crept forward, my footsteps soundless. She didn't stir even when I leaned over her, blocking the light of the moon through her small window. My shadow fell across her body, morphing it into a grotesque, miss-shapen mass. And yet I could draw the curves and indents of her throat by memory, watching it so closely as I watched. It flexed and softened with every breath, her chest moving with every heartbeat, pulsing wet, hot heat... I groaned in agony. I had to taste her.

I fell to my knees by her bed, and swept her hair back from her neck. My cold touch did not wake her. She had a freckle on her throat— a sweet mark that I wanted to bite. My mouth descended to her skin, my teeth gently grazing her throat. Christ, she was so _warm. _Suddenly I couldn't wait any longer, and my teeth attacked her neck with ferocity. At once the rush of hot blood poured into my mouth, and my eyes rolled closed in ecstasy. A groan of gratification rumbled in my chest, and my hands gripped hard at her neck, holding her down.

She had woken as soon as my teeth had broken her skin, mauling half her neck in my excitement. I clamped my hand over her mouth before her scream came, and held her body down as she thrashed and bucked on the bed. Delicious, salty blood filled slid down my throat. Yet all too soon the flow slowed, almost to a stop. I pressed harder on her, trying to coax more blood out of her, my hands roughly bruising the skin of her neck and breast. She wasn't moving any more.

In anger, I sunk my fingers into her skin, my nails breaking it. Why wasn't there any more blood? I couldn't have drunk it all already! Yet nothing more was coming, and I growled in frustration. I pulled my fingers out of her skin and flung her back down onto her bed, wanting to crush something. There was no use staying here— her parents were both old, and their blood wasn't half as appetising.

I had jumped out of her window and was crossing the yard when I noticed a small animal sound of protest and obstruction under my feet. I stopped at once, looking down at the little kitten I had kicked by accident. It had a little worked leather collar around its throat, with a dainty wooden carved bell attached to it. Its silky black fur had been brushed until it was shiny and there was not a hair out of place. I was at once flooded by remorse that almost knocked me to my knees— this little loved kitten had obviously belonged to the girl I had just sucked dry.

_It had been very wrong to kill her. _

And then I felt ridiculous for even feeling that way; humans were there for us to prey on! They were our natural nourishment, made just so delicious so that we could taste them!

I was conflicted more than I had ever been. Guilt rose up in me like bile, and I choked on it. Yet it went against my very self to feel this way.

_Stop it, stop it! Stop being so stupid. They are there for us to eat. _

_...But not to suck dry, to maul, to attack..._ I thought at the same time, my memory recalling the bloody sheets around her broken body. I had probably broken her spine.

I couldn't leave her body for her parents to find.

My feet carried me up the wall and through her window again in seconds. I lifted her body gingerly, and ripped off her bloody sheets from the bed. It took me seconds to skirt the house and find a patch of trees where I might dig a hole without being seen. At vampire speed my hands tore through the dirt. I had to make this deep, or when her body rotted, scavengers might come to dig her up.

When I had finished, I lowered her body into the hole, along with the sheets. I quickly plucked some wildflowers to lie atop her body before I began re-piling in the dirt. I couldn't look at her face, her glassy eyes.

And once I had finished, I found myself back in her room, grabbing the paper and quill beside her bed, scrawling a note...

_Dear Mother and Father,_

_Do not worry about me, I am happy. I have left to marry a man I love, and I wont return. You don't know him, so don't try and search for me, because you wont find me. I'm moving across the country and I wont write again. But always know that you mean more than the world to me. _

I didn't know her name, so I didn't sign it. The paper fluttered to land on her bed as I jumped from the window, and fled the farm. Tortured images of her broken body, her makeshift grave and her little lost kitten flooded my mind as I ran, and ran, and ran.

X x x x x x x x x x x X

Sorry about that, but it had to be done to show how Jasper is beginning to get depressed about killing. And I know you all want Alice, she's coming, I promise. The events of the story may be altered a little bit, but I promise I wont alter anything about Jasper and Alice's meeting and relationship, that's too perfect to be altered!

I hope you liked this chapter, and please continue to tell me what you think.

CullenLove x


	6. Jasper's Travels

This is a short chapter, but there seemed a natural break at the end of it. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Here you go:

* * * * *

Evening found me on the banks of a river, washing deliciously in its gentle waters. Small pebbles crunched under my feet and birds cooed softly from their nighttime perches atop the trees that framed the river. Yet I was troubled, amidst this beauty. And as I watched the golden summer sun sink below the horizon I only saw the face of the girl I had killed.

I ran my hand through my hair and pressed my knuckles against my eyes. I needed to stop this. It was pathetic— the humans were there for us to drink from. I wasn't supposed to feel sorry for them. I pulled myself towards the riverbank, my coat sloshing and dragging behind me. Then I jumped from the river, shook my hair out, and made my way through the bracken and ivy towards the road.

The packed dirt track, which formed the road, was empty of people. The first motorcars were tentatively being manufactured in the big cities, but there was nothing of that sort here. People here, deep in the country, didn't travel much, or if they did, horses were their motorcars. Technology didn't permeate this deeply into the musky countryside.

I listened to the lulling sound of my boots hitting the packed dirt of the road, and watched the horizon. I could have run all the way to Houston, but where would joy have come from then? I resented being a vampire sometimes. If only I could have been human... been free to work in the fields, to feel the sun beating onto my well-browned back, to marry and love and produce so many children that the house was filled with laughter and shouts. I wondered why I was feeling this sort of paternal longing now; for hundreds of years I had been perfectly contented with my lot. Maybe I was missing Maria.

I had to hide in the shade to once the sun was high the next day, but I enjoyed watching the men working in the fields, dragging the plough, and the women bringing them tall glasses of homemade lemonade. And the dog, the only animal tame enough to come anywhere near me, barked around my feet. I scratched him generously behind the ears as he bounded around the tree I was sitting under, and when he rolled onto his stomach I tickled him until he yapped and ran away.

I set off again later, running this time, until I heard a horse's hooves on the road and had to slow to human speed. The horse and cart pulled into view from a dip in the road and pulled to a stop when they noticed me.

It was a young couple in the cart, the man with the whip and the girl in a yellow cotton dress and sunhat. She beamed at me sweetly, and her companion tipped his cap to me. They either didn't notice or chose not to comment on my strange army clothing.

"Where you headed?" she called softly, tucking a curl of golden hair behind her ear.

"Houston," I replied, surprised by how my voice sounded. I hadn't spoken aloud since being dismissed by Maria. My voice was still as fluid and velvet bass as ever.

A look of surprise came onto her face. "We're headed that way too!" She turned to her companion, and with a pleading look on her face begged him to let me ride along. Evidently he agreed, because she was jumping from the cart, her skirts flying, and springing forward to me in a second. I was surprised by her eagerness, but put it down to either good South country spirit or attraction to me because I was a vampire. I didn't want to disrupt their travel, but for some reason I longed for company, especially from one as lively as her. I took a breath for the first time since I had spotted the cart, and was assaulted by her smell. I had just fed, but she was particularly sweet... really, I shouldn't... but I wanted so much to be in the presence of someone other than myself. I took another breath to be sure, and she was so delicious... but I was standing here, wasn't I, and she was still alive. That was proof of my control.

"So, would you like a ride?" she murmured, looking up at me from under her lashes. I didn't doubt she loved her partner in the truck, but she was looking at me with such sweet childish demand that I agreed. She smiled brightly and told me her name was Sally, and that the man in the cart was her new husband, Jack.

Once we were seated in the back of the cart, our feet hanging over the back, she confided to me that they were heading home after their honeymoon in the country. Apparently she was rich, and from the city, and he was a farmer, born and bred; they had fallen in love over the summer when she came on a day trip to enjoy the sun. She kept looking back at him with such joy in her eyes that I immediately ignored my first assumption that she only wanted me to ride with them because of my physical appeal. And he wasn't worried either; he greeted me with the same warmth and friendliness as her.

He was young— perhaps nineteen— his body hard and brown, displaying his life of labour. She was even younger yet, her small body smooth and white and supple, and her hands unmarked in their lacy gloves. Despite their differences, they had something glorious between them, which I marvelled at. She always asked his opinion, he stared at her unabashedly, and she laughed when he was being funny.

"So, where do you come from?" she asked about an hour into the ride, "Only, you're so pale."

I froze and my body knitted with tension. She couldn't know what I was... no, it was just an innocent question. I forced myself to relax and told her some lie about having a skin condition that meant I couldn't be out in the sun. Her husband joked that I should borrow her sun hat and she slapped the back of his head and giggled.

"Are you hungry?" she asked later, offering me some dried meat from the pouch her husband had been nibbling on.

I smiled despite myself and simply shook my head. _Oh, well for her that I wasn't hungry!_ I thought.

"You sure?" she pushed.

"If he don't want some, he don't want some darlin'," her husband chuckled at her.

"Okay, Jack, okay," she grinned, "No need for that. I was just asking."

"What's that coat you got on?" he asked, looking back from his seat holding the horse's reins.

"An antique," I replied, not elaborating. He could think of it what he wanted.

The girl spent the next hour recounting scenes from her childhood. She stopped in the middle of one about her pony and teased, "You don't talk much, do you?"

"You could say that," I replied, my tone bitter. I was used to deferring to Maria, and it had become habit now.

She was surprised at my tone, and fell silent. She looked across at me out of the corner of her eye, curious. She studied my face for a while, and then looked puzzled at something.

"I didn't notice before, but your eyes..." she murmured, quietened for once. "They're a funny colour."

A feeling of déjà vu fell over me: this always happened when I got too close to humans.

I didn't reply to her comment, failing to come up with a reason why my eyes would be so violently burgundy. Her friendliness had made me forget the close barriers I had kept around my self for safety. I cursed my stupidity— how could I have ever thought that _I_ could be around humans? It was absurd.

She had roused the attention of her husband, he looked back at me and then worried lines drew his eyebrows together. Her emotions were spiralling towards fear, his towards protectiveness and suspicion. Evidently they had only just noticed what they should have done hours ago: I was dangerous.

"Look here—" he began in an attempt at bravery, and she backed away from me, shuffling back until she was close to her husband.

I fiercely battled against their emotions, instilling tranquillity and serenity, but I was so distracted at my own stupidity that I was only half-successful. I had to leave them once they reached the main road, and then I was alone again, half way to Houston. There was no point in denying my vampire self, I concluded, and began to run at vampire speed towards the city.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So, would you call that progress? I'd say he started to progress but then it went downhill...

Please review, it's my birthday tomorrow and it would be an awesome present!

CullenLove xx


	7. Jasper's Scouting

Previously...

_I had to leave them once they reached the main road, and then I was alone again, half way to Houston. There was no point in denying my vampire self, I concluded, and began to run at vampire speed towards the city. _

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, its extra long! I tried to update three days ago but the fanfiction login wasn't working, so at least you have it today!**

I reached Houston by mid-afternoon the next day, and spent the last of the overcast daylight hours mapping in pencil on a sheet of paper the road that led to the outskirts of the city. I added the small farm buildings and inns that I could see, and then tucked the sheet of paper into my pocket. Maria had wanted me to map the city, including all the weak points and vampire defences, so that she could attack her enemy with her new army and take the city. That night, I saw nothing that hinted of vampire activity. It was perhaps to be expected: for a vampire to hold a city, he had to be silently in control. Those who flouted their power over the humans were taken down by the Volturi. And yet I was slightly disappointed as I searched out an inn and made my way inside.

It was past midnight, and the front door of the inn was closed. I crept around the back of the building, climbed up a drainpipe, and slipped in through an open window, and then jumped with shock as a young woman rounded the corner and stared at the dazzlingly handsome young man who had just climbed through a second storey window by himself.

She stared with wide brown eyes at me, her mouth slightly open.

"Who are you?" she murmured, and it was plain in her voice that she was trying to decide whether I was human or an angel.

"I would like a bed for the night," I replied. She seemed surprised to hear my low velvet voice; extremely shocked and then immediately soothed. I supposed it helped that I subtly manipulated her emotions towards welcoming me.

"Of course," she said gently, "Right this way."

And then she led me down the corridor, opened one of the rooms with a set of keys hanging off her belt. She handed the key to me and then offered me a hot drink.

"No, thank you ma'am," I replied softly, examining the small but cosy room, "A bed is all I need."

And then I turned and flashed her a smile, which resulted in an emotional swoon that I hadn't intended. I could feel desire beginning to race through her veins, so hot I could almost taste it. I took a deep breath to try and rid myself of it, but was met with a noseful of the scent of her blood, and the hot, wet heat of her heart. I quickly killed the smile, said goodnight, and closed the door. I had fed not long ago, and I didn't want to do it again. I was hungry, not stupid, and this woman would probably be missed. Only an idiot gave himself over to his instinct to hunt in the middle of a houseful of sleeping humans. I could end up killing the lot of them, and that wouldn't be very subtle. I planned on living long enough to get away from here undetected, just as Maria had asked.

I listened until I could hear her get into bed on the floor below, and then turned back to the simple room. The bed was small and cramped, and I could see tiny mites that would be undetectable to a human hidden in the cloth fibres. With a grimace I turned to the small chair and spread my map out over a table. It was barely detailed, with just a large outline estimate of the city's size, and then in the bottom corner, the land I had mapped along the road. That section was criss-crossed with tiny lines, immaculate in its detail, showing a perfect tiny representation of the real-sized land.

I hadn't come to the inn to sleep, because of course for me it was impossible. I had come because I needed a base in which to leave my things while I went scouting in the city. I was going to start tonight, while it was still dark. The absence of distracting humans would prove a blessing as I began to search for vampire habitation and activity. And additionally, the vampires of this city were more likely to come out at night to avoid the blistering sunlight of the daytime, which would reveal our kind for what they were.

I slipped out of my grey trench coat and hung it carefully over the back of the chair, and then rolled the map up but left it on the table. I looked down at my left hand; at the silver ring Maria had given to me, and stared at it for a while before deciding at length to keep it on. I blew out the candle and locked the room behind me, tucking the key into the pocket of my leather pants.

The street was empty apart from a stray cat, which scuttled down an alley when it spotted me walking like a ghost in the shadows. I followed the path of the road, silently memorising the buildings on either side of the street with a photographic memory, all the while listening for any signs of movement around me. My hearing radius was pretty broad (I could hear for several miles around), and so that was why I noticed straight away when the muffled sound of voices broke the late night's stillness. I couldn't make out the words, for they were still miles away, but I could tell by the low, silken tones that they were vampires. My step quickened, and stopped breathing so that they would not detect me. As I got closer, I could tell that there were three of them: two males and a female. The female was silent, and the men were arguing, but I could tell that she was there by her emotional climate (which was told me she was distinctly female and extremely bored).

They were in what appeared to be an abandoned mansion at the end of the street. It was large and grand, made completely of stone and with towering pillars to form a porch, and wrought-iron decorations above the wooden casements. It stood out utterly and completely situated in between the two tiny ramshackle rows of wooden houses that formed the street. I slipped quietly up the path and crouched below the window, listening to their argument in the front room. They were so loud they didn't notice me, and once I was hidden in the dilapidated flowerbed I lay completely still and immobilised like only a vampire could do, my breathing seized and my muscles tensed in case I had to move fast.

The first voice I heard was from one of the males, his voice a low hiss of barely suppressed anger, which his emotions mirrored, "And _what _the_ fuck_ do you think I can do about it? It was your fucking mistake. You deal with it." I could tell from his voice that he was very young, probably relatively newly 'created', and from the north.

The reply came back almost instantly, and the accent of this male vampire was slightly strange. I tried to work out what it was that was off while he growled, "It _was_ my mistake, you are right. But it is not just me who will get punished for it, don't you forget that. When you tell Him the news, he will rip us both apart. Think about that while you feed tonight."

This caused the other man's emotions to explode with fury. "You will drag me into this? It was through no fault of mine you failed to bring the bitch back dead! Don't you fucking _dare_ accuse me of making mistakes. I carried out my part, it was _you _who failed to."

The other man replied again, and I realized that his accent was similar to one I had heard while human and in the army. He was British! "I couldn't help it! The girl I was told to kill had a much larger army than I had expected; they wiped us out! My whole army, destroyed in one night!"

The female was still silent, but her interest in the conversation was sparked.

"You had_ thirty_ newborns," the young male replied, "I find it hard to believe Maria's army destroyed them all."

I froze in shock— _Maria's army?_ This British vampire was told to attack and kill _us_? So it must have been him that ambushed Maria and I a month ago! I thought we had slaughtered them all, but this man must have got away!

Immediately my desire for revenge on this man warred with my need to keep inconspicuous. He had been attacking our territory in an attempt to kill Maria!

"Yes, it is true that they had fewer newborns than I," the man said in his stiff, distinctly pronounced accent. "But the girl, Maria, had a bodyguard. He was absolutely deadly— no one could get past him, not even Delazear. He had scars all over every inch of his skin. It was truly chilling— he must have killed hundreds... no, _thousands_, to get that many scars."

I wondered with wry amusement whether they were talking about me.

The female was still silent, yet I could somehow tell that if she were to speak she could eclipse either of them. There was a quiet power about her, an atmosphere of danger. She was listening with marked interest now— something had triggered it.

The young northerner spoke again, but now he was curious instead of angry. "I have heard rumours similar to this. Tell me what this man looked like."

There was a pause as the British man thought, and then replied in a clipped tone. "I don't know, I didn't get a close look. I was too busy fleeing, for god's sake."

There was a rumble of irritation from the newborn. "Well, _think harder_, then. I need to know what to tell Him, when He finds out you've failed. It may just buy me my life if I have some information for Him."

"I don't care about your life," the other man replied in a curt tone.

There was a second's pause, and then with a wave of anger the newborn growled and leapt forward. There were several thuds, a weak growl of protest, and then the British vampire replied in a strained voice. "Alright, I'll tell you!"

"Go on then," the newborn snarled.

"He had golden blonde hair, he was muscled, tall—"

"Oh, grow some motherfucking balls and stop dribbling over this fucker. I want a _name!_"

"I don't know anything else!" the British vampire replied. His emotions were spiralling towards panic, and it was affecting me— venom was flooding my mouth along with a fierce desire to run from my hiding place and flee. But I gritted my teeth and battled to keep myself in the same, frozen position. They would realize I was here if I even moved an inch.

A harsh, piercing screeching sound broke through my concentration and then the panic immediately ceased. I wondered why, and then realized it was because the newborn vampire had just ripped the other vampire's head off. Several more grinding noises sounded through the window and then laughter.

"The little snot-nosed fucker was as useless as his name is," the newborn grunted with raucous laughter, "Duke Charles Wellington! That's a type of fucking shoe in that country, isn't it?"

There was no reply from the female, but that didn't deter the other vampire's loud amusement. She was curious, amused... and when she finally spoke, the other vampire fell silent immediately and broke off mid-laugh. His emotions went from hilarity to nervousness, puzzling me. Who was she to scare him in this way?

When she spoke, her voice was soft and dreamlike, gentle and chiming like bells. Worryingly, it soothed me immediately. "Mr. Frazer," she addressed in her satin-like voice, "It may interest you to know that we're being eavesdropped upon."

I should have moved right then, bolted away at vampire speed, ran for my life... but I was immobilised, frozen to the spot. With a grunt I tried to move my limbs, kicking out with a force that should have snapped me upright in an eighteenth of a second, or could have smashed through concrete like it was butter... but an invisible force that made it impossible to even close my eyelids held me down. I was still fully aware as I heard the front door open close to me, and two pairs of footsteps come down the steps and amble over to my flowerbed. I still furiously attempted to lash out, throwing as much force as I could into moving my legs, but it was in vain. I was trapped.

Two pairs of feet came into my line of vision, one pair of scuffed boots and the other dainty silk shoes.

"What do you want me to do with him?" the male vampire grunted as I attempted with all my might to move.

I felt a finger touch my chin and tilt it upwards, and a shiver of disgust ran through me. Now I could see the faces of the two vampires as they looked down on me. I had been right in thinking Mr. Frazer was a newborn— his eyes were a brilliant scarlet and his thin-lipped smile was smug. He had close-cropped, iron-coloured hair, and was thickly muscled. I would have been able to take him easily had I been free to move, because he looked cocky and arrogant and too sure of himself, but if I couldn't move I was completely powerless.

"That marvellous power of yours is useful yet again," he said to the woman with a disgustingly excited grin.

My gaze travelled to the woman (the only thing I could move was my eyes, though I tried constantly to overcome my immobility) and my gaze was captured immediately. She must have been young when turned, because she only looked about the same age in human years as me. She had long, straight, fair hair, the colour of silver. Her scarlet eyes were oddly captivating, strangely large for her face, and her small body was delicate and thin. I wanted so much to fight her fairly, without her power she would have been so _easy_ to take down... it was intensely infuriating to say the least that I was being held by this scrap of a girl. I wondered when they were going to kill me, and tried again furiously to break free. The girl's emotions were bright with enjoyment at my struggles.

She leaned closer to look at me, and her eyes narrowed and then widened the next second when she saw my face. A sinister smile pulled at the edges of her ruby lips as she murmured, "Do you think... possibly... he...?" She turned to her companion. "The scars are there." Her tiny hand buried itself in my hair and I was frozen in revulsion as she pulled gently at the golden strands. Her slow gaze swept lasciviously down my body as she added, "He's tall and muscled, just like the helpful darling Duke Wellington described."

"Why don't you ask him?" Mr. Frazer grunted.

She yanked me backwards by the hair (in a gesture that reminded me not so fondly of Maria) and purred in a low voice, "What is your name?"

Suddenly I felt my mouth able to move, and I gritted my teeth, wanting very much to spit on her or swear. Instead I stared silently up at her with fierce loathing in my eyes.

When she realized I wasn't going to answer, she leapt forward and bit down on my neck, viciously tearing deep into my marble skin. For a second I could move, and my back arched upwards as her venom burned and licked at my skin like acid. The tendons in my neck strained, and yet I managed to stop myself from roaring in pain. It was only a brief second, and then the pain was gone, and I could not move again.

"I can do anything to you," she hissed, "And you can do nothing back. I am only going to ask you once more, _what is your name?_"

I opened my mouth, and licked my lips slowly with the tip of my tongue. "Why don't you suck my cock," I snarled, my tone like ice. She was certainly _not _a lady, so I didn't have to be a gentleman. Still, it felt wrong to speak that way to a woman, and guilt racked through me.

She roared in fury and leapt on me, her control smashing like a dam before a flood. Her nails raked against my skin, shredding my shirt, but found no purchase against my marble skin. She bit me everywhere— sometimes a quick sharp bite, other times deep gouges in my skin, and I couldn't do anything to stop her. My eyes rolled in my head, the only bit of me that wasn't paralyzed.

After a while, the male vampire put a restraining hand on the girl's shoulder. "We want some of him left, Katie. We will be highly rewarded for bringing him to the master."

She jumped back off me, and straightened her dress. "Yes, that's right." Then she leaned forward and tapped my ravaged chest, "But don't you ever, _ever _speak to me that way again."

I couldn't reply, but my defiant gaze said it all.

**Authors Notes:**

**Review and tell me what you think.... if you think it happens too fast, then this is because I wanted to get Alice in quicker and to do that I need to move it along a bit. If you think its fine, then tell me what you thought exactly! It would be lovely to read your thoughts. Thank you guys!**


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